Sweet Fellowship

Following the whirlwind of 2009, I was confident that 2010 was going to be a good year. I had finished my degree and began working full-time, so I believed there would be less stress with a more “normal” weekly schedule and with the reduced stress I hoped that some of my physical ailments would again be relieved. I committed to go deeper in my studies of God’s word and asked Him to do big things...I was ready to listen and obey. Reflecting on the previous year, I was reminded of Mary and Martha (see Luke 10:38-42). I let myself get so busy (ala Martha) with all the things I thought I had to do that I wasn’t sitting at Jesus’ feet as Mary did. If satan can’t make us bad he will surely make us busy, but truly the one thing we cannot do without is our relationship with Christ. I was ready to be still by the side of the Lord, to “keep” His word by reading it, memorizing it, meditating on it, and filling my mind with things that are pleasing to Him.

In addition to studying God’s word, I began reading The Magnificent Obsession by Anne Graham Lotz. I love her! If you’ve never read one of her books, I definitely recommend you check one out. I’ve read several and they are all life changing! Ok, getting back on track…two quotes from this book set the tone for me in 2010.

“Obedience requires persistence and patience.”

“One of the primary tactics of the enemy is to tempt you and me to doubt God’s word and to doubt God’s character. Since the Garden of Eden, satan has tried to cast God in such a negative light that we lose confidence in who He is and what He has said, and therefore we draw away from Him and disobey Him.”

Then, in February I began reading So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore. Another of my favorite authors, if you’ve never read one of her books or done a group study written by her, you are missing out! They will radically change your life, so again, check one out! Ok, where was I…Beth led her blog community through the study of her new book, So Long Insecurity, which I highly recommend for anyone to read, because, let’s face it, we are all human and we all have areas where we feel very insecure at times. I was a little apprehensive to do the study because I knew that I would have to experience some hard stuff to get rid of the yucky, insecure gunk that my Lord wanted to deliver me from. I faced truth about choices and decisions I’ve made, I faced truth about insecurities that have been passed down from generation to generation. The enemy worked overtime on my emotions to cause me to stumble, to doubt God’s promises, to question my ability to hear clearly what God spoke to me in the quiet moments of my time studying His word, I faced the fear of what if…what if He doesn’t do what I hope He will do? What if life doesn’t work out like I think it should? Persistence and patience were vital to obedience to God in this season. I can honestly say that as a result, I know God is in control and that He provides spiritually, physically, and emotionally in ways and means by which we may have never heard of or thought of.

He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. – Deuteronomy 8:3

I was experiencing sweet fellowship with my Lord and spiritually and emotionally I began to feel more alive and aware of God’s presence and hand in guiding me. My confidence in His care and provision had been renewed, so as my physical state declined, I knew that He could just heal me, but I also trusted Him to lead me to answers if there were changes I needed to make.