Into the Wilderness

As a healthy, active, fun-loving twenty-four-year-old I found myself in the doctor’s office with a diagnosis of iron-deficiency anemia. This is a common issue for young women who exercise and lead active lifestyles and according to the doctor; my best course of action was to take iron pills for three months to give me a boost. I’ve never been a proponent of using pills or medication unless there was absolutely no other, more natural, method of healing. I quickly researched iron-deficiency and opted to take a daily multi-vitamin and up my intake of iron-rich foods…beef, chicken, eggs, leafy greens, etc. In three months I was feeling great and my iron levels were in the normal range. The next couple of years many things changed…I became restless at my current career in advertising and pursued a career in interior design. This was a fun adventure, but as the economy slowed down I could see the handwriting on the wall for my employer’s fate. I let fear, anxiety and a little pride creep in and I panicked. I went back to college to pursue a completely different avenue. At first, it wasn’t too stressful and I received encouragement from others that I was on the right path. Somewhere deep within I knew that I was not fulfilling my purpose in this pursuit, but I quenched those thoughts and continued on because it felt “safe”. As the days and weeks and months went on, I began to feel more stressed and anxious about the decision, but I pushed through and kept going. Stress and anxiety began to take control and my diet was not as healthy as it once had been. I experienced fatigue, digestive issues, low iron, and pale/unhealthy skin tone. In 2009, four years after the iron-deficiency diagnosis, with all of these new symptoms, I felt at a loss. I was trying to do what I thought I needed to do, but failing to truly seek guidance from the Lord. I cried out to Him and asked Him to show me what I needed to do, what I needed to change. It was almost immediately that He opened my eyes to see information that had been coming before me that would start a journey to great healing and health. There was only one concern…the scripture that resounded in my mind at this time:

Behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. And there will I give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth as at the time when she came out of the land of Eqypt. –Hosea 2:14-15

I had such a peace about what God was going to do. I knew with full confidence that He was in control and everything was working for my good and His glory. But, the wilderness? I asked Him over and over again…”what do you mean, the wilderness? Aren’t I already in a wilderness?” In the silence of His answer, I knew something was going to get worse, harder, require more dying to self, but I felt peace.