One Step at a Time…

For I, the Lord your God hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” – Isaiah 41:13

I knew I was heading into the wilderness, yet I knew treasures were waiting there for me and I was confident in Whose hand was holding me.

I sat in my bed one night in late spring 2009, searching the scriptures for direction, answers, something. My mom came into my room and showed me a May 2009 article in Taste for Life entitled “The Gluten-Free Kitchen Offers Plenty of Tasty Foods”. There was a side bar to the article with a heading: “What’s Celiac Disease?” As I read the article, I realized that I had been struggling with several of the symptoms related to celiac…abdominal bloating, joint pain, fatigue, dry skin, missed menstrual periods, tingling in my extremities, unexplained iron-deficiency anemia. Hmm…could it be that celiac was the culprit to some of these symptoms I had attributed to stress or exercise-related ailments? I quickly began reading medical and health studies regarding celiac and found that in the U.S. about 1 in every 133 people have celiac and even more common than that is gluten-intolerance which affects nearly 1 in 10 people.

Around this time, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, of Survivor and The View fame, released a book, “The G-Free Diet”.

I went to the nearest Barnes & Noble and bought a copy. I read it quickly from cover to cover. I soaked up the information. It felt good to finally have a probable cause for my own issues.

But, did I have celiac or gluten-intolerance? How would I know? Medically the “best” test is to consume gluten-containing foods daily for at least 3 months and then have a biopsy of the small intestine. Somehow this seemed like not such a fun idea! My research led me to a different approach, not as well-accepted medically, but much more accurate according to those with symptoms related to celiac and gluten-intolerance, the elimination approach…also much less invasive! Basically, I eliminated all gluten, a protein in wheat and other grains that gives elasticity (think pizza dough) and longevity (think packaged foods that line grocery store shelves) to many of the foods we eat. As a lover of baked goodies I quickly found alternatives to some of my favorite treats! I began experimenting with sorghum flour, buckwheat flour, millet flour, tapioca flour. I even started eating ice cream and dairy products that I had been avoiding as I thought that may be the cause for some of my issues. I began to have more energy and many of the aforementioned symptoms were alleviating. I didn’t know for sure if I had celiac or gluten-intolerance, but I knew with all certainty that gluten was no longer a part of my diet. I felt too good to go back to my old ways of eating and I didn’t miss any of my old foods.

I began eating lasagna made with gluten-free noodles and trying all kinds of “new” foods. If it was gluten-free, I tried it! I found gluten-free chips and cookies and cereals and so many gluten-free versions of foods that I had eliminated from my daily diet because I felt so yucky after consuming them. With so many gluten-free options, I had increased packaged foods and foods with added sugars. For a while this seemed to work great…

Into the Wilderness

As a healthy, active, fun-loving twenty-four-year-old I found myself in the doctor’s office with a diagnosis of iron-deficiency anemia. This is a common issue for young women who exercise and lead active lifestyles and according to the doctor; my best course of action was to take iron pills for three months to give me a boost. I’ve never been a proponent of using pills or medication unless there was absolutely no other, more natural, method of healing. I quickly researched iron-deficiency and opted to take a daily multi-vitamin and up my intake of iron-rich foods…beef, chicken, eggs, leafy greens, etc. In three months I was feeling great and my iron levels were in the normal range. The next couple of years many things changed…I became restless at my current career in advertising and pursued a career in interior design. This was a fun adventure, but as the economy slowed down I could see the handwriting on the wall for my employer’s fate. I let fear, anxiety and a little pride creep in and I panicked. I went back to college to pursue a completely different avenue. At first, it wasn’t too stressful and I received encouragement from others that I was on the right path. Somewhere deep within I knew that I was not fulfilling my purpose in this pursuit, but I quenched those thoughts and continued on because it felt “safe”. As the days and weeks and months went on, I began to feel more stressed and anxious about the decision, but I pushed through and kept going. Stress and anxiety began to take control and my diet was not as healthy as it once had been. I experienced fatigue, digestive issues, low iron, and pale/unhealthy skin tone. In 2009, four years after the iron-deficiency diagnosis, with all of these new symptoms, I felt at a loss. I was trying to do what I thought I needed to do, but failing to truly seek guidance from the Lord. I cried out to Him and asked Him to show me what I needed to do, what I needed to change. It was almost immediately that He opened my eyes to see information that had been coming before me that would start a journey to great healing and health. There was only one concern…the scripture that resounded in my mind at this time:

Behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. And there will I give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth as at the time when she came out of the land of Eqypt. –Hosea 2:14-15

I had such a peace about what God was going to do. I knew with full confidence that He was in control and everything was working for my good and His glory. But, the wilderness? I asked Him over and over again…”what do you mean, the wilderness? Aren’t I already in a wilderness?” In the silence of His answer, I knew something was going to get worse, harder, require more dying to self, but I felt peace.

Praising God Who Redeems and Restores

"Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings." Isaiah 58:12

I am currently in a time of awaiting God’s restoration physically, spiritually, emotionally. Walls have been broken down, and I believe He will restore the ancient ruins during this period of waiting. As I draw closer to Him, He is leading me into His Truth about what is important…how I spend the time and talents He gives. All good things come from above and I know that even in this “holding pattern” He is actively working out things for my good and His glory. His majesty will be revealed and after the “wait” has been lifted and the streets of my life have been restored, there will be a bountiful harvest that glorifies His name.

God is crowning the year with His presence, power, and purposes so that I may complete the tasks concerning ancient ruins, waste places, age-old foundations of many generations, and broken down walls and gates. He is blessing me with the sword (His word) and the tools (knowledge, wisdom, discernment) to reconstruct, fight the good fight and rebuild. There is a time for everything under the sun and I believe He is releasing healing for rebuilding. This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.

As I dwell in His presence today, I pray that His treasures will replace the desolate, devastated, barren places with fortresses of righteousness for many generations to come. That His purposes and plans will prevail in and through my life. That I will continue the path to becoming who He wants me to be with confidence and assurance that His power is at work to restore, rebuild and renew. I am calling forth His blessings of well-being and hope.

I will never be the same again,
I can never return, I've closed the door.
I will walk apart, I'll run the race
And I will never be the same again.

Fall like fire, soak like rain,
Flow like mighty waters, again and again.
Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,
And let a flame burn to glorify Your name.

There are higher heights, there are deeper seas,
Whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.
The Glory of God fills my life,
And I will never be the same again.

-Hillsong, I Will Never Be the Same Again