Boys Lie

The other day while eating lunch at my mom’s house, my nephew said that he did not want to go home to his house that afternoon. My mom explained to him that his parents and little sister would want to see him and that she would not be home that evening for him to stay there, so he really must go home later. He went off to play for several minutes and returned to my mom and said, “I’ve been talking to mama and I don’t have to go home today”. My mom was shocked…he had certainly not been talking to his mama and had completely made up this little story so that he could get what he wanted. Wow, even at three years old we are programmed to lie to get what we want. It’s a funny little story and we’ve all laughed about it, but the truth is, we arrive on earth with a very real sin nature. Unless we turn to the Lord and let Him place good things in our hearts, we will continue to develop our sin nature and indulge our fleshly desires.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. -Galatians 5:22-23

This little incident, along with many other recent events…mainly a recurring question posed to me regarding my single status, and my commitment to allowing the Lord, through the So Long Insecurity Bible study, to weed out any areas of insecurity lingering in me has brought to me a very interesting revelation…

I had a conversation a few weeks ago with someone who talked about just being open and telling people how they feel. I found this really interesting because I tend to be very, very guarded when first meeting someone…male, female, young, old…I hold my cards close, very close until I feel like I know them pretty well. And the greater the perceived risk of hurt, the greater the wall that guards me. But, what if I’m missing out on valuable friendships and opportunities because of fear? Mostly fear of their trustworthiness. (We’ve already established our natural inclination to lying) Healthy fear protects us from danger, but what about fear that hinders our relationships with others or worse yet, keeps us from ever developing some relationships? Fear that holds us back from others may hold us back from the abundant life that Christ came for us to claim and embrace.

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. -John 10:10

I love Leigh McLeroy’s mantra: speak what you feel, not what you ought to say. Believing that, doing that, opens us up to release our fears and be real with others...regardless of what they choose to do or how they think and feel about us.

Fear and distrust developed into insecurity for me when I realized that boys lie. To get what they want. To get out of doing what they don’t want to do. Girls lie too. Sadly enough, they are vicious and will turn on one another in an instant. We should encourage one another. It is a cruel, cruel world out there and we need each other, to build one another up and not tear one another down. Our natural response so often is to lie and not just for selfish reasons, but even simple things, like saying that we’ve read a book or visited a city so as not to look uninformed or uncultured in someone’s eyes. I think this one is pride, and it's a whole other monster to be tackled on a different day!

So, how does this relate to the recurring question of my single status? When a question or some piece of information is repeatedly asked of me or placed before me, eventually I will dig deeper to see if I need to research the issue. I can’t seem to go more than a week without having this question asked of me, so I’m looking for answers. I fully believe that God is good and has protected my heart from being completely broken by a relationship not ordained by Him. He is leading me in His word and if He desires to change my singleness, He will do that too. My prayer is that He will make me ready for whatever the future holds by helping me to weed out any bits of insecurity that clutter my soul and interfere with the purposes He calls me to. The Christian life is a fierce battle, but with the Lord’s help, fear and mistrust will no longer hinder my relationships or keep me from speaking what I feel.